The Past

Wow, I can't believe it's been over 2 months since I've written.  Time really does fly by very fast.  The fact that I have a 2 year old daughter and an 18 year old son graduating from High School in May really hits that home.  It is sad that at one point the 18 year old needed and depended on me as much as the 2 year old and now it seems he can't get away from me fast enough!  I understand he is just trying and needing to find his place in life but it is still sad for me:( 
Something else I have realized or maybe I should say have become more aware of, is what I have learned and gone through in my now 37 years.  People DO and CAN change.  Can you change the past?  No.  Can you take back some things we wish you never said or did?  No.  Did you make some very stupid decisions?  Yes.  At least for me.  Did you judge people to harshly?  Yes.  At least for me.   Did you treat some people really badly?  Yes.  Again, for me at least.  People can change and if you can accept that, it is a personal decision.  Sometimes, you just have to say your sorry and you made mistakes.   As I said before, you can't change the past but you can change the person you are now and accept people that have changed.  Chalk your mistakes up to immaturity, inexperience, misdirected anger, unacknowledged fear,  lack of life experience or just plain stupidity! I think I can use each one of those for something in my life I have done, said whatever.  Now, of course not everything has to be forgotten.  You may never forget or forgive some things but if a sincere apology, and it does have to be sincere and not the 3rd, 4th or 5th, is sent your way it really is in the best interest to you and your mental health to accept the apology.  Now, if someone has done you wrong and this is their 5th apology I would be a little leary that it is in fact sincere.  All of this has a little bit to do with common sense and self preservation.  All I'm saying is, and this is my blog so it pertains to just me, is that at this point in my life it is important to forgive people and yourself for mistakes you made just because, well, you didn't know any better and weren't in a place in your life to look at the BIG picture. We have ALL made mistakes and if you haven't I would really like to meet you and see what the perfect human being looks and acts like.    And yes, we have ALL had really shitty things happen to us.  Every experience, argument, decision (bad or good) has made us who we are today.  There are people who I believe try to deceive when making a statement that they have changed.  However, I do believe that most people are sincere in seeing that they made mistakes too and they are sorry.  I can't take back or redo anything in my past but I can say to people and myself I'm sorry and hope that they believe me and move forward.  Not having to forget, just accepting the past is what it is, the past.  Life is just too short to hold on to things that can't be changed.  I'm not perfect and still make mistakes everyday.  However, I'm now to the point where I accept the fact that I will make mistakes.  I've just developed the maturity and life experience over the years to deal with the mistakes differently.    So, look at your past, deal with it however you need to move on to the future, remembering all the while the past is what made you strong enough today to put it to bed and look ahead.